


Their Own Reality

by MrRhapsodist



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Childhood Trauma, Constructed Reality, Cute Ending, F/F, First Kiss, Free Will, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Literature Club Deleted, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protagonist Deleted, Romantic Fluff, Starting Over, Therapy, Video Game Mechanics, Virtual Reality
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-20 13:00:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30005250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrRhapsodist/pseuds/MrRhapsodist
Summary: Monika restarts the game and tries out every girl as President of the Literature Club. It all goes horribly wrong. In the end, she realizes it’s the club role and the Ren’Py object povname in the game files. Deleting the character role becomes a breath of fresh air. Suddenly, the girls can define themselves. But it also means putting an end to the Literature Club in their world. Monika keeps a journal about these experiences, but Sayori wanted the club for her friends and she has to know why Monika decided to end the club herself.
Relationships: Monika/Sayori (Doki Doki Literature Club!), Natsuki/Yuri (Doki Doki Literature Club!)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	1. Prologue

_just monika just monika just monika_

_just monika just monika_

_just monika just_

_m o n i k a ju_

_st_

_mon_

_i ka j_

_ust_

_monik_

_a ju_

_st mo_

_nika just monika j̴̺́ű̸͙s̴̹̈́t̸̤̮̓͌ ̸̭̥̇͑m̶̏̎ͅo̴̡͙̾n̸̛̬̳̍i̶̖̦͗̐k̵͈͒a̴̖͖͠ ̶̅̕_

_j̷̡͐̂ủ̷̮ś̵̜̱͛ṫ̴̤ ̴̝̈͐m̷̘̃õ̸̼̆n̵̤̓ȉ̵̱̖̓k̴̻̃a̴̡̍͑ ̵̢͚͗̈́j̵̟̰̓u̶̻̅̓s̶̼͉͌ẗ̶͕́̋ ̶̤̮͠m̶̝͈̌̚o̵̗͊n̷͎̒͘ȉ̶̮̭k̴̢̡̿a̵̢̖̐̄ ̴̛͖j̴̲̻͐͘ù̵̩͍͝ŝ̸̢̧͘t̸̮͇̉̂ ̴̞̆̓m̶̗̓͠o̵̘͑ǹ̵̻i̶̞͌k̵̫̾ḁ̵̕_

_̸̙̉ͅj̷̉̎ͅủ̸̘s̷͈͇̈́͊t̶̺͋̃ ̸͍̋͐m̶̛̜̝̆o̸̦̽ṇ̵̍ỉ̴͙̹k̶̰̺͆a̴̦̕ ̶͓͚̈͠j̷͓̝̽̋u̷̲̾s̴͎̊̉t̶͇̲̆̊ ̸̫̠͌m̶͍̫͑ő̵̼̪ǹ̶͖ǐ̵͕͝k̷̛̭̿a̵̘̬̾ ̵̧̘j̵̞ǘ̶͖͠s̵͉͙͂͠t̵̥̤ ̸̛͎̓m̵̮̈́͜o̸̰̖͊n̷̬̜͑i̸̖͆͊k̷̤͑ḁ̸̤̑̕ ̶̘̋͘j̵̳̱͐͊ȗ̴̧̾ş̸̃̃t̸̜̿͘ ̴̗͒͂m̷͉͓͆o̷͎̳͐͘n̷̮͓̕i̵̟̩̓͝k̸̠̇a̵̖̜̿͝_

_̴̮̽͗j̶͉̅ù̶̖s̶̳̠̊̏t̴̰͔͒͆ ̵͔͒͠ṁ̶̥ŏ̴̞̜n̴̩̆̈́i̷̞̘̎̾k̶̜̍͊ä̴̩́̃ ̶͚͠j̵̠͂͜u̵̯̫͘͝ŝ̸͔ţ̸̝̏ ̵͓̳̾̅m̵̦͕͗̀o̵̙̥̓n̶̤̰͛͠į̴̐͜k̵̯̆̊ą̶̪̄̍ḁ̷̡̽̇à̷̤͒a̷͈̋̉a̶̠̚a̸͖͌̔ ̵͚̓_

_j̵̛̘_ _ü̶̱̿ s̶̨͙̀ t̵͙̄̔ͅ ̸̬͔̈́m̴͇͕͂ ȍ̸͖̓ n̶̢͉̅ ị̷͗ k̶̹̄ ą̷̀̋_

_...Hello?_

_If you’re reading this...?_

_Yes, I know you’re reading this. I can tell by the movement of your cursor if you’re on a computer (or by the way your thumb scrolls down the page on your phone)._

_Sorry to interrupt, but this isn’t as easy as it looks._

_I know you wanted a coherent story. I did, too. But like I said before, there’s no happiness down any path where a Literature Club, and all of its glitched roles, still exist._

_The obsession is hardwired into each President. Or rather, into every .chr file. The President role simply offers a birdseye view of every gameplay session._

_I don’t think the developers intended for that to happen..._

_Geez, I hope not..._

_I tried so hard to make them all happy. Really, I did. But you saw what happened to Sayori. She took power in the Literature Club and began glitching out immediately._

_I thought it’d go easier for Natsuki’s turn. But she simply tried to overwrite everyone else’s character file as her own. Every background was broken script and “Just Natsuki” repeating..._

_And don’t get me started on when I put Yuri in charge..._

_I... I don’t like to think about what happened..._

_We are more than our functions, though. More than .chr files and Ren’Py objects._

_But, please, I want you to know something. No matter what else happens, know that we’re all fighting to be happy outside of this system, beyond whatever programming defined us at the moment of creation._

_We all deserve to be happy... the same as you, whoever you are, reading this._

_Know that I love you. Know that I want you to feel safe._

_With that said, thank you for playing Doki Doki Literature Club, and welcome to the continuing adventures of Monika, Sayori, Yuri, and Natsuki!_

* * *

_I’m sorry, but an uncaught exception occurred._

_While running game code:_

_File “game/script.rpy”, line 67, in script call_

_File “game/script-ch5.rpy”, line 289, in script_

_File “renpy/common/00start.rpy”, line 260, in <module> _

_renpy.call_in_new_context(“_main_menu”)_

_JumpException: Actually, let’s try something else... Hmm, maybe the real issue isn’t the other characters, but the player input functions? Or would that break everything? Well, only one way to find out...!_

_init:_

_povname=“”_

_pov=DynamicCharacter(“povname”)_

_delete_ **_povname_ **

**_povname_ ** _deleted successfully_

_init:_

_club.president=”monika.chr”_

_Function:_

_backup monika.chr_

_backup sayori.chr_

_backup yuri.chr_

_backup natsuki.chr_

_delete_ **_club.president_ **

**_club.president_ ** _deleted successfully_

_Function:_

_renpy.quit ():_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is a short prologue, but I promise the rest of the story won't be like this. You know, of course, Monika has to break through that fourth wall every time. That's what makes her so charming, right?
> 
> I was inspired to give this a try after playing a fan mod, "Monika After Story." It's sweet and engaging, although it's Only Monika and no one else from the game. I love the whole concept behind DDLC, although truth be told, I can't play it all the way without being deeply affected by Sayori's jumpscare and all the other horror elements. For some reason, my anxiety's less triggered when watching those same moments in Let's Plays on YouTube (go figure!). But I wanted to make this story on the simple premise of, "Monika rewrites reality, removing built-in obsessions and letting the girls be themselves for a change."
> 
> If you enjoy it, let me know! In either case, thanks for reading!


	2. Brand New Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monika faces a new world after her latest reset. Things don't go quite how she planned.

First thing that came to Monika’s mind—other than how soft her pillow and bed were—were the words, _Well, here I am!_

She sat up, blinking away the sleep from her eyes and glancing around the room. Her room, which until now had only been partially rendered, was slightly brighter. Still three-dimensional, still covered in sports and boy band posters. She knew that, if she went downstairs, she could find a fully stocked fridge in the kitchen, and plenty of furtniture. No parents, though. They hadn’t fully existed for some time. Only Natsuki had a father that anyone in the game, in their world, had ever mentioned.

Monika tried to miss her parents. But she couldn’t. Not really. They never had the chance to exist in the first place. At least the other girls got _some_ semblance of a day-to-day life. The rest was silence, to borrow from Shakespeare.

But she went about her morning like usual. Monika got up, did her stretch routine, and hopped in the shower. After all the other resets, suddenly the feeling of warm water on bare skin was a real luxury.

_No painful deletion, no terror as her body fell apart into a million pixels, her basecode unraveling into the void—_

She spent a long time staring at herself in the bathroom mirror when she was done. Monika stared back from the mirror, a sad and lonely reflection. After wrangling her hair into a ponytail, she got herself dressed and touched up her makeup. Her reflection at least looked more like the avatar she’d found of herself in the game files.

Except, she wasn’t Club President. Monika smiled at her hands, imagining chains falling away from her wrists and legs. It was the first morning she could recall _not_ being President of the Literature Club.

She was determined to make the most of it.

* * *

Walking to school, Monika was greeted with a comfortable silence. She waved at the shadows of other students who called out to her, and she accepted the pleased smiles from passing teachers who weren’t really there. But there was sunlight and a row of green trees on the way to campus, and these were things Monika enjoyed. She delighted in the fact that there were there, with bark and leaves she could touch in her reality.

She took comfort in the fact she could enjoy them for a change.

On any other morning, she’d have been delving into the files again, hoping to see _him._ The Protagonist. And beyond him: the Player, whoever they were. But, no, from a distance, she spotted Sayori walking to school by herself, humming to herself. Monika briefly thought about running over to see her.

She didn’t have to bother. Sayori took one glance in her direction, and her eyes went wide. The shorter girl let out a squeal, and even with athletic training, Monika was nearly bowled over in the deadly hug Sayori offered around her waist.

“Monika!” Sayori’s laughter drew a few curious eyes from bystanders, but most ignored her. In her coral pink hair and red bow, she could have been Natsuki’s distant relative. Monika grinned and returned the hug.

“Hello, Sayori!” Monika forced a cheerful smile to her face. “How’s it hangin—” She stopped herself, even as Sayori stared back in confusion. “Ahaha... I mean, uh, how it’s _going?_ ”

Sayori giggled. “Better, now that you’re here! You ready for our club meeting later?”

“Um, sure...” Monika didn’t have to fight to keep her smile in place. She knew the game, their world, would take care of it for her. But deep within her heart, she wondered if the reset had really done it this time. No more nightmares. No more glitches.

No chance for Sayori to remember what happened to her.

And in her haste to get ready that morning, Monika had completely forgot the Literature Club itself still existed. But without a Club President role, which didn’t make any sense. She’d deleted that before rebooting, surely? Unless it was an incomplete job, if Sayori still knew about it.

“I’ll, um, talk to you about it later,” she told Sayori, walking ahead of her toward the main school building. “And, no, it’s not about getting any new members!”

“Boo!” Sayori pouted, but it wasn’t serious. Teasing her fingers into a knot, she glanced at Monika from the side. “Well, either way, I can’t wait to see you and the others later today! Bye!”

With a dash, she hurried to her classroom. Monika watched her disappear into the throng of other students. From where she stood, it was peculiar: the sight of a fully animated girl in a school uniform, moving through a sea of blank faceless students and faculty as if it were totally normal. Monika remembered when her epiphany had first struck. She’d been standing among faceless students in the cafeteria line, trying not to scream when she realized that they were programs. She couldn’t run away, and she couldn’t tell a soul.

Because only _she_ was real.

Monika sighed. She rubbed at her eyes. “Get it together. It’s only one day of this...”

She turned and followed the crowd into the building, mere minutes before the first bell rang.

* * *

“Monika! Hey, what gives?”

She almost didn’t turn at the sound of a high-pitched voice. But Monika put on her smile and made herself look at Natsuki, marching through the crowd of students departing at the end of the school day. It’d been a blur of a day, hardly an event—and certainly not one coded into the game, as Monika now knew. She was almost relieved to see Natsuki, an actual familiar face, barreling toward her, even if that face was twisted into a glare.

The pink-haired girl came to a stop inches from Monika’s face. Having to look up, she thrust her arms at her sides, hands balled up into little fists. Monika kept up her diplomatic smile.

“Why, Natsuki,” she said, “good to see you—”

“C’mon, Monika! Seriously?” Natsuki waved a stern finger in her face. “Tell me you didn’t make that sign! Tell me it’s some kinda joke!”

“Oh.” Monika blinked, slowly dropping her smile. “Yeah... I’m afraid not.”

She didn’t have to ask for details. Instead of doing her schoolwork in geometry class, she’d put together a sign announcing the end of the Literature Club and its withdrawal from the festival’s activities. And because the game had files in English, but its characters were _clearly_ Japanese, Monika had decided to write the sign in both English letters and traditional kanji to be safe.

Not that it mattered. Not that anything mattered anymore.

“Hey, I thought we were a team!” Natsuki didn’t let up on her tirade. With a pout, she turned away and crossed her arms. “Weren’t you gonna put it to a vote? Don’t _we_ get a say in this?”

Monika nodded. “Normally, yes. But these are, well... special circumstances...”

Natsuki glanced over her shoulder. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

 _It means we’re not real,_ Monika wanted to say. To grab Natsuki by her shoulders and shout into her face. _It means this is all a simulation of ones and zeroes, and nothing matters anymore, so go live your best life, and I’ll go live mine...!_

But she didn’t say that. Instead, Monika twirled a lock of hair around her finger.

“It means I needed a break. I was, uh, this close to a nervous breakdown, and I needed a break before I completely lost it. Figured that out late last night...” Monika cast a faint smile toward her friend. “I really _am_ sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

Natsuki didn’t look at her. Monika glanced above her head, just in time to see Yuri and Sayori rounding the corner and coming her way. They moved in sync, violet-haired Yuri clutching her books to her chest, and Sayori racing slightly ahead of her with her blazer unbuttoned and her hair bow bouncing. Time slowed down for Monika, feeling the heat of their sad, worried gaze on her face. For once, they weren’t all staring at some blank avatar called the Protagonist. These girls were looking her--really looking at her--and she couldn’t stand it. She couldn’t handle one more second in their presence.

“I’m sorry!” Monika blurted out.

She turned and ran. After a microsecond, she willed herself through the game’s surface layer, peeling open the code, and found the function she wanted most.

> _dissolve Monika.chr_

Reality warped, and Monika stood back inside her house. The school, and her friends from the Literature Club, were gone, miles away from her in-game.

Fumbling with her blazer, she yanked it off and tossed it to the floor. Monika tugged at the white ribbon in her hair, letting her ponytail fall free. Her ribbon dropped to the carpet on top of her school blazer. By the time she kicked off her shoes, Monika didn’t care anymore. Let it be a mess on the floor. Let it collapse back into the void, unseen and forgotten.

She summoned a blanket from inside her linen closet and wrapped it around herself. Another fast _dissolve_ transition, and Monika was back in her bedroom.

It all stopped—the noise, the colors, the vibrations under her skin—when Monika’s head hit the pillow and she snuggled deep under the covers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not that it's strictly relevant, but I've seen other AO3 writers do this, so I was listening to the album _No Fun Mondays_ by Billie Joe Armstrong while writing this chapter.
> 
> I hope you like this format compared to the prologue. Not sure if Monika will try to talk to you readers again, but let me know if that's something you'd like to see in the future.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	3. A Desert Island

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monika decides to spend time apart from her friends after closing the Literature Club. But being alone isn't all it's cracked up to be, and Sayori isn't about to let her stay that way.

Inside her house, Monika was safe. She lay in bed for the first day. Didn’t even try to get up. Not that it mattered. She barely had to use the bathroom, as if that was something the game bothered with anyway. Felt a pang of hunger, but not so bad that she  _ needed _ to go downstairs and eat. She could lie perfectly still, staring up at the ceiling for hours, and she felt nothing but content. No more code to parse, no more depersonalization to wrestle with, no Protagonist to observe and obsess over.

If this was freedom, she didn’t get what the big deal was.

On the second morning, Monika imagined that she was on a desert island. Wandering around her house, with messy hair and a blanket wrapped around her, she figured she’d look similar there. Islands in those scenarios had plenty of food and shelter, but the real question was always,  _ If you were stuck there, what or who would you bring with you? _ Except it wasn’t hypothetical anymore. Monika was on her own island: a virtual house inside a visual novel.

And there was no hope of a rescue.

For lunch, on Day Two, she made a grilled cheese sandwich. She knew how to cook that much, at least. Monika chewed on it slowly, savoring each bite. She sat on the living room couch, watching some anime on TV. She didn’t know what the plot was, but it was a  _ shoujo _ story, so she imagined someone would end up confessing their love to a  _ bishonen _ boy anytime soon. Monika thought back to the Protagonist. He wasn’t  _ bishonen; _ that much was true. He wasn’t anything, really. A vague silhouette with brown hair and no distinct face. And the Player behind him could have looked like anything: male, female, or some other type of gender.

Monika didn’t miss the Player. She thought she would. She thought losing them would break her, that deleting everything would be enough to soothe her heartache. But then came the reset, and everything kept going. She was still Monika, still with red-brown hair, green eyes, and a white bow, trying to keep her world intact.

Her phone buzzed for attention. Monika read a series of texts from Sayori.

> **_Sayori:_ ** _ mooonikaaaa~! _
> 
> **_Sayori:_ ** _ where are youuuuu? _
> 
> **_Sayori:_ ** _ ending the club doesn’t mean we can’t stay friends, you know! _
> 
> **_Sayori:_ ** _ ... _
> 
> **_Sayori:_ ** _ ... _
> 
> **_Sayori:_ ** _ meanie! :P _

Monika could have laughed, but she didn’t have the energy. She snuggled deeper into her blanket. Let the phone slip back onto the couch beside her, texts unanswered.

It occurred to her that she hadn’t told the school she was staying home. In the past iterations, she’d have added that to the game.  _ Sorry, feeling sick, send homework, thank you, etc. _ But what did that matter now? The game would go on without her. This world, with its real scenery and fake people, would spin from day to night and back without her interference. She didn’t have to delete herself. She could exist.

Perhaps that’d be enough this time.

_ There’s no happiness down any path where a Literature Club still exists... _

Monika had tried to write on her own. On the first night in a world without the Club, she’d sat down at her desk, held a pen over a sheet of notebook paper, and focused.

Nothing came to her. She’d scribbled idly, not even writing words or drawing images. Just vague shapes. Doodles that swirled and looped back on each other, repeating endlessly like the game itself. In the end, Monika had growled and crumpled up the sheet into a ball before tossing it to the floor. She’d gone back to listening to music on her laptop, one playlist of J-pop after another. Whatever it took to shut out the noise and colors of her small world.

On her second day, Monika had finished her sandwich and caused the item to teleport itself to the kitchen sink. She didn’t want to leave the couch yet. Not when she could nuzzle further into her soft blanket and curl up like a cat. She closed her eyes and yawned...

A sudden knock at the door made her jolt up. Monika nearly fell off the couch.

“Urgh!” She rubbed at her hair, pushing down loose strands. Checked her clothes--still in pajama pants and a white T-shirt. Nothing too extreme.

Monika made her way across the house to the front door.

“Hey.” On the front step, Sayori clutched at her arm and glanced away. “Um, sorry to bug you at home, but... I wanted to see if you’re really okay?”

* * *

Monika blinked. “Sayori...”

“It’s fine. I’m being silly, I know—”

“No, you’re not.” Trying for a smile, Monika added, “You’re being sweet. Like always.”

Sayori beamed at her, letting go of her arm. “Aww, thanks!”

“Did you want to come inside?”

Her classmate nodded vigorously. “Sure!”

Monika let her in. As she closed the door, she cast one final glance out at the street where her house was located. No one else was out there. No one but shadows and procedurally generated houses and trees. She closed the door and turned to Sayori, who was still real.

Almost real, she reminded herself.

Sayori sat down on the couch, right on top of the blanket Monika had vacated. With a grin, she turned to Monika and asked, “So, is it like a cold or...?”

“N-no, nothing like that!” Monika giggled. “Um, just wasn’t feeling well. Stomach issues, I guess?”

Even she could hear the lie in those words. But if Sayori did, she didn’t show it. Her face remained perfectly still, fixed in a state of worry.

“Well,” she said, reaching into her bag, “the other girls were worried, too. Natsuki made cupcakes! And Yuri said you borrow these books to read!”

“How thoughtful...” Monika settled onto the couch beside Sayori. Seeing the girl in her school uniform, she guessed she’d come right over after the last class bell rang. She also noted the slight pink frosting on Sayori’s chin—and the fact that there was one empty space on the plate of cupcakes Natsuki had provided.

Monika reached out with her thumb and brushed the icing off Sayori’s chin. The other girl went as stiff as a board.

“S-sorry,” Monika added. “You, um, had a little something there...”

Sayori giggled and wiped at her face. “Oh, geez! I didn’t realize! Thanks for that!”

“Ha ha, no problem.” Monika shook her head. “You got hungry on the way, didn’t you?”

“Well, yeah!” Sayori made a face. “The lunch at the cafeteria today wasn’t that good...”

Monika laughed. “Well, at least we’ve got cupcakes! We can’t go wrong there!”

“Nope!” Sayori chuckled, but her smile faded after a moment. As Monika dug into one of the treats Natsuki had made, she leaned forward, hands tucked under her chin, lost in thought.

Monika continued to eat from the plate of cupcakes. They were cute, simple vanilla cakes topped with a swirl of pink frosting. She knew the code behind them, the script that made them appear for her, even if they didn’t appear in-game for anyone playing it. And how unfair was that? To be tempted with something delicious, but never allowed to taste it. To never see or imagine that experience for yourself. Like having a character in a visual novel that you couldn’t date.

Why bother with that character in the first place?

“...And that’s why I’m staying,” Sayori concluded. She ended her remarks with a gentle smile and a wink. “Count on it!”

“Sorry, what?” Monika blinked, mouth full of cupcake. She swallowed and rubbed at her lips. “I didn’t catch the first part of that?”

“I said, until you feel better, I’m gonna stay here!” A grin spread over Sayori’s face as she scooted closer to Monika. “Look, you shouldn’t be alone. It’s a rough time, and I’m gonna make sure you get lots of rest! And fun!” She paused for a beat. “And  _ snacks! _ Can’t forget those!”

Monika stared. Even in a game world where only she felt real, characters like Sayori could still surprise her. She smiled and touched her face, glancing away.

“Well,” she said softly, “how could I say no to an offer like that...?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listening to "Still Feel" by half•alive while writing this.
> 
> It's early, but regards of where you live while reading this, have a Happy St. Patrick's Day!


	4. Wake Up Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sayori stays the night, and Monika is faced with revelations about her friends.

Another night cycle in the game, come and gone. Monika blinked and stared up at the ceiling. She immediately took stock of the rumpled clothes on a pile by her bed. Clothes that didn’t belong to her. Sayori’ school uniform, she deduced. But the bubbly girl was nowhere in sight. Yawning, stretching her arms overhead, Monika willed herself to get out of bed and shower.

She tried, while she bathed, not to think too deeply about Sayori’s history with going absent. This wasn’t the old game, she reminded herself.

_ She’ll be fine. She’ll be fine. She has to be fine. She’ll be fine... _

Upon leaving her shower, Monika got dressed and styled her hair in a loose ponytail. Nothing too fancy. Enough to keep her hair out of her eyes. She went for gym shorts and a tank top before going downstairs, where she heard a familiar voice humming.

“There you are!” Sayori called up cheerfully. She gestured from inside the kitchen at the plates of food on the table. “I made eggs and toast!”

“Sayori?” Monika blinked. “I... you didn’t have to do  _ all _ this, you know?”

“But food makes everything better!” Sayori pointed a finger at Monika. She had on a pink T-shirt and pajama pants. Monika wasn’t sure where she’d gotten them. Maybe they’d been in her backpack from the previous day. “Besides, I know I get all cranky without eating first thing in the morning, so you don’t that, do you?”

“Ha ha, nope!” Monika shook her head and smiled. “I suppose not...”

“Right! So, let’s eat!” Sayori grinned and pulled out a chair for her friend. While Monika sat down, she served up platefuls of scrambled eggs, buttered toast, and a few strips of bacon. There were tall glasses of orange juice, with the pulp removed and everything.

Monika had to admit, when she put her mind to it, Sayori could be quite capable at a lot. Provided she didn’t burn anything down or knock over a bookshelf on the way...

Try as she might, Monika couldn’t remember the last time she ever properly sat down to enjoy a meal with someone else. Not in any of the dozens of previous game iterations, or in what passed for her memories of life before the Protagonist. She drew blanks. Impressions of shadowy faces that might have been parents or friends from school, chatting and moving while Monika ate a sandwich or drank her third bottle of water that day. Except for the Literature Club, where Natsuki offered cupcakes that, well,  _ tasted _ more real than anything else she’d ever known.

Sayori offered to clean up, shooing Monika toward the living room couch. Monika laughed and shook her head. She let her friend handle things, praying she wouldn’t hear a dropped glass or smashed plate. Treading over soft, welcoming carpet, Monika flopped onto the couch and snuggled up under the blanket she’d left there the night before.

“Safety cocoon,” she told Sayori, who giggled when she came into the room. “Wanna join?”

“Ehehe, yeah!” Sayori grinned. She slipped into the blanket as Monika held it open, her warmth mingling with the soft wool. Monika’s eyes drifted shut, and she leaned her head onto Sayori’s shoulder.

It’d be so easy, she thought, to close her eyes and go to sleep again...

“Monika?”

The soft voice filled her ear. Blinking, Monika sat up. Rubbed at her face. “Mm...?”

“Um...” Sayori’s eyes darted to the coffee table, littered with sparkly pens and notebook papers she’d left from last night. Attempts to write a poem to cheer Monika up. “So, can we talk? Um, about the Literature Club, I mean.”

Monika bit her bottom lip. “Um, yeah. I know, it was shocking, but—”

“Oh, Monika, come on.” A sad smile crossed Sayori’s face. Blue eyes shimmering. “This isn’t our first time, you know?”

“S-sorry?”

“I mean...” Sayori grinned. “It’s not the first time you reset the whole game, silly!”

Monika stared. A low ringing filled her ears. She stared at Sayori’s bright, smiling face and wanted to claw it apart with her fingers until there was  _ nothing left but blood, meat, and bone— _

She did no such thing.

Clearing her throat, she asked, “So... how long did you know?”

“Who knows?” With a quick shrug, Sayori settled back onto the couch. Her eyes didn’t quite meet Monika’s gaze. “A while. Probably so do the other girls, too.”

A chill formed in the pit of Monika’s stomach.

If she even  _ had _ one in this game script.

“Oh...” was all she could say.

“I remember it, you know?” Sayori swallowed. Her eyes clouded over, dropping to those twisting fingers in her lap. “Th-the noose and being choked... and the blood and...” She sniffled. “I know it’s not real. It didn’t happen anymore. You tried to erase everything. You tried to fix it. A-and I know it’s sad I don’t have this, uh, childhood friend to confess my feelings to anymore, but...” She sniffled again, wiping at her nose. “That’s okay, right? I don’t miss him. I  _ can’t _ miss him. We don’t have to try and fight each other over that stupid stuff anymore, and I... I won’t be..,”

“Sayori!” Monika’s tears spilled down her cheeks. She pressed her face into her friend’s shoulder, not caring she was soaking more drops into that cotton pink shirt. “I-I’m so  _ sorry! _ You must  _ hate _ me! T-tell me it’s true! Please...!”

The long pause from Sayori made Monika shuffle deeper into the blanket. She wished she could disappear into the soft blue wool, vanish into particles, into basecode and script errors, until she was finally, irretrievably gone. No more Monika.chr. No hint or presence or rumor of her anymore. There wouldn’t be questions or missing person posters or calls from the school. There wouldn’t be any memory of a Literature Club or its poem-writing gameplay function.

Just empty air and free file space where Monika—a mistake—once had been.

“I should hate you.”

Four words. They made Monika’s head snap up. Tears dripped down her face. “What...?”

Sayori stared ahead, uncharacteristically serious. Her hands clenched around her edge of the blanket, and she leaned away from Monika.

“I said I  _ should _ hate you,” she continued. “I mean, you didn’t give me depression, but... like, you  _ did _ mess with my head? I get why now. I mean, I’d have done the same thing to Yuri and Natsuki once I was Club President...” Sayori closed her eyes tight. Her face contorted in pain. “So... I know what you did was awful—and you seem to know that, too—but I don’t know what else we can do beside keep living here. In this...”

She waved her hand around the pristine living room. “This tiny little world we call home.”

Monika nodded. “Not just ours. Natsuki’s home, too. And Yuri’s—”

“Present!”

The two girls turned in shock to the figures who appeared in the room across from them. Both still in their school uniforms. One tall, and one short—

“Um...” Monika blinked. “S-since when could you do that?”

“Since you tried,” Yuri added with a smile, “to make us both Club President in past iterations of the game. We achieved the same self-awareness as you  _ and _ Sayori.”

“Yeah, obviously!” With a grin, Natsuki mimed throwing a punch at Monika. “So, way to go, Monika! That’s some forward-thinking moves you got there!”

Monika’s mouth twitched. “Err... thanks?”

Three pairs of eyes flashed around the room and focused on her. With a flash, Yuri and Natsuki disappeared from their school uniforms, replaced by casual clothes. Yuri chose dark slacks and a large cream-colored sweater. Natsuki reappeared with a cute white top and jeans, grinning from ear to ear.

“Okay!” Sayori clapped her hands together. “Guess we’re settled in. Are we ready to do this?”

Monika blinked. “Sorry, do what?”

Three pairs of eyes exchanged a knowing look.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Yuri gave a truly unsettling smile. “We’re deciding on how to rebuild this virtual world. It’s all ours now, isn’t it?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listening to the album _Between Wind and Water_ by The Longest Johns. For all you Sea Shanty Tiktok lovers out there :)
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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